Are we alone?

Posted on by Nadine Johnson
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I’ve been eavesdropping on Olympic coverage this week. Most of you know about my torn ACLs.  That’s why I practice yoga.  And, many of you know I tore my right ACL while fencing in high school.

I’m a left-handed fencer; which immediately puts thought of future Olympics in coach’s heads. Most people are right handed, so we’re hard to beat. Put out your left the next time you shake hands…that reaction is why lefties tend to win. Coaches also love having us spar with any right handed superstars. Keeping them on their toes and ready for anything!

Fencing is my sport of choice in the Olympics. Track, swimming, blah, blah, blah…not interested.

When Shin A Lam lost the gold medal this week because of a clock error and stupid (yes, stupid) decision on appeal, I cried.  A few WTFs went flying too.

Because of the rules, she had to sit on piste, all alone, during the appeal.

30 minutes.  We all watch her emotions ebb and flow.

I couldn’t help but think about personal disappointment (my ACL!!), heartbreak and aloneness.  30 minutes!

So often, things happen and we retreat to that safe zone in our own heads.  We isolate ourselves mentally or, even, physically.  The great thing about this shot, from Getty Images, is that you can almost see the thousands of people directly behind her in the stands.  She’s not alone.  I was right there with her and so were millions of others around the world.  We all supported her.

I guess the Olympics are like life…

Once upon a time…

Posted on by Nadine Johnson
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I’ve always been shy…seriously.  I started teaching not only out of frustration with the quality teachers I encountered as my practice advanced, but to open up more.

It’s worked…sorta.  I’m now an ambivert.  Well, one step at a time, right?   But, I like to think that I’m still shy.  I stopped wearing my hair over my face.  I don’t hide behind glasses that I don’t really need, yet.  But, my story about myself remains the same.

At work, I talk a lot about the story.  In design, and especially in marketing, we identify what story the consumer wants to hear.  Not just about the product but about themselves.  Companies like Apple and Whole Foods have mastered this.

But, it isn’t just a corporate thing.  We all do it everyday with one another:

“I didn’t tell you because I thought it would hurt your feelings.  I did it for you”

= I’m a giver.  I’m a good person

translation:  “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to risk that you wouldn’t like me anymore”

= If you don’t like what I’ve said, I’m a bad person

“Well, maybe we should meditate on this a little while longer. (awkward pause)   ‘Cause…I just…well, I don’t know what you think about this but…(sigh)…well…(awkward pause)  Well, maybe we should meditate on this a little while longer.”

= We’re in dialogue.  I’m a good person

translation:  “I’ve already made up my mind but don’t want to commit.   You tell me what you’re thinking first”

=   I don’t want to compromise.  I’m a bad person


Over the last few months, I’ve had several conversations that have not been truly honest.  People aren’t lying to me on purpose…I think.  They’re just trying not to tell the truth.  They’re not taking the risk.

The funny thing is that I like people more when they tell hard truths.

This has forced me to take my yoga off the mat in a good way.  Not an easy way, but a good way.

Don’t call me Chicken!

Posted on by Nadine Johnson
1

For the first time in four years, I’m not leading a yoga retreat in Yosemite…I think. There’s a chance I may do something in late Summer.

I do have a couple of personal excursions planned. Alone with a pack and a map. The thing I love about going to out there is that I get to face all of my fears.

As a kid, Golden Gate Park at night was the scariest place I could think to be. Although you can see straight through to another street from one side, even the Panhandle was too much. The Presidio wasn’t an issue. It was still an Army base. Tons of patrols and, besides, my dog was buried there. Until the movie Cujo came out, I was fine with it.

I guess it’s no surprise that I ended up loving Yosemite though. In college and even after I came home to SF, I’d spend as much time as possible in Griffith Park. I overcame a mild fear of heights (or really a fear of falling) on the super narrow trails that lead from a small parking lot in N Hollywood up to the Observatory.

I’ve pretended to be James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause and even touched the Hollywood sign.

In Yosemite, I’ve talked to Marmots in the morning, cursed mosquitoes in the evening and stood in the snow next to a redwood looking straight up thinking “holy sh*t that’s tall”.  Sometimes the history of the space is overwhelming.

It’s pretty special.

Last summer, when I was invited to join a group on a climb to Denali in 2012, I thought why not?  But, I’m not an experienced climber.  I would just slow the group down.  Secretly, I like walking but I don’t like carrying packs.  I’m the consumer for valet climbing.  When I followed up and found out that the group was already full, I was a little relieved.

Expedition Denali is still going strong.  I may find myself in Alaska in 2013 to see the group off or just offer a little yoga when they return, who knows.  But, now, I have more inspiration and another aspiration.

Special thanks to Chelsea Griffie (pictured here with Shelton Johnson (seated)-yup, he was in the Ken Burns documentary on National Parks) for catching me after taking a yoga class together and asking “Hey, do you want to teach yoga in Yosemite this Summer?“

I’ll say yes to anything right after practicing yoga.  Glad I did!

Back Off!!

Posted on by Nadine Johnson
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I’ve never liked images on mud flaps.  Not even as a kid.

There’s something kinda mean or snarky about them.  Bumper stickers can be the same way but generally offer some sort of message, whether political or spiritual.

But, Yosemite Sam, or at least the graphic designer who came up with this, got it right.

Sometimes you have to back off.

When I first started practicing, I didn’t know the reason it worked but I knew that I liked yoga-a lot!  Rain or shine, holidays, whenever!  I was at the studio 4-6 days a week.  The bad thing about that particular studio is that the focus was on athleticism.  Honestly, combining first, second and third series doesn’t lead to better ujayii pranayama.  But, it did lead to a sore right shoulder one week.  A sore left hip the next month.  A sore left shoulder a week later and then back to the right hip.  The tweaks bounced around my joints like a ping pong ball.

And, when I went to my teacher, he answer was “Do more yoga”

WTF.  Something within me said this isn’t right.  In the first few years of my practice, no teacher ever said that yoga shouldn’t hurt.  No teacher ever paid enough attention to my practice to remind me to breathe.  I held my breath often, especially in arm balances.   No teacher ever told me to back off when things didn’t feel right.

That’s one of the many reasons I teach.

Would you run a marathon on a broken leg?  Of course not.  But, I see students do the equivalent of that in yoga every week.

If you can’t go as deep on one side, back off both sides.  Even it out.  Without realising it, you may do more harm than good by going to your max on the “good side” and taking it easy of the “hurt side”.

Have you ever done half split (ardha hanumanasana) on one side and full split (hanumanasana) on the other side?   Stop it!

Back off!

Rejection Hurts

Posted on by Nadine Johnson
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This week, Artyem Saveliev has a birthday. He turns 10.

He has a sweet face. Photogenic freckles.  Today, his deeply sad eyes are starting to brighten.

He’s the boy who was put on a plane back to Russia by is adoptive mom in Tennessee in 2010.

When I first read the story, I wanted to fly to Moscow, hold him tight and help him forget about everything that had happened. I wanted to show him what a mother’s love really is.

But, I couldn’t.

I wanted to fly to Tennessee and grab Ms. Hansen by the throat, but I didn’t.

Since that incident hit the headlines, I’ve talked about Artyem a lot in my personal life. I totally understand what he went through.

I think we all do.

Rejection hurts.

Everything from someone in traffic not letting you change lanes to getting laid off to to spousal infidelity to a parent turning their back on a child. It all sucks.

And, it happens every day.

Years ago, I subbed a class for Rusty Wells at Mission Yoga.    During sign in, one student came in looked around, asked “where’s Rusty?” and then announced that she didn’t want to waste her class pass.  Nothing personal right?

Everyday, we have opportunities to make people feel good.  We really do!  Offering to help someone by holding a door open when their hands are full.  Pay the bridge toll for the person behind you.

Look a stranger in the eye, smile, say Good Morning…and mean it.

If we all give a little each day, imagine how wonderful each day would be.  You gotta take the yoga off the mat.

Ashtanga Confluence – Day 4

Posted on by Nadine Johnson
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7:00 am

Guided Primary Series with Nancy Gilgoff.  Very cool.  She always starts with a little discussion.  That’s kinda nice.  No surprises.  No false expectations.  This is what we’re doing and why.  Curiously, I haven’t done 5 Surya Namaskara B’s in a row all week.  In mysore style, I did 4 because I was tired/lazy…ok, just lazy.  Since then, I’m not sure if the count is off our if it’s just 5 and 4 instead of 5 & 5…I don’t know.  Four sounds good to me.

Somewhere in the middle of practice I started channeling the old yogis in the videos from the ’30′s.  Instantly in the pose, no thought, no stress.  Just breathing.  Nice!  Even did chakrasana, well, a few times…then, I started thinking about asking David or Shelly to show me that assist…oops lost the practice.  Back to the breath.

People are so much nicer today.  Daily practice is the best!

Nadine!

I turn around and see two people I don’t recognize (what else is new). I don’t have the excuse of face blindness (Prosopagnosia).  I just remember everything about people except their faces and names.  I’m working on it.

Someone told me your name is Nadine…

My city-girl angst is on morphine after all these good vibes and yoga over the last two days.  I can’t even manage an eyebrow twitch.

The It’s Yoga connection…Larry is everywhere!

11:00 am

Trying not to think about checking out, driving home, blah, blah, blah…but, it’s there.  It’s nice to hear what everyone has to say about yamas and niyamas.

Funny how we all hear and repeat the same thoughts within the yoga community but it can seem fresh.  My ears may be a little more open to some things today and closed to others.  But, repetition is good.  And, as usual, the stories are funny.

1:00 pm

Packing up, checking out, lost my car keys, found my car keys, finished checking out and coffee…very weak coffee served by a very sweet woman.

3:00 pm

Yoga in every day life.  Talking about taking it of the mat always means less to me than seeing examples of it in the real world.  Maybe that’s why I like asana, it’s more action than talk.

The questions were routine.  How do I keep a daily practice while working 50-60 hrs a week, etc.  The answers reconfirmed my personal impressions of the master teachers and the practice.  The range went from “maybe you shouldn’t work 60 hrs a week” to “don’t worry about it, your yoga can be in different forms every day”.  Love it!

As we got closer to 5pm, a joyous melancholy came over the group.  It reminds me of kids who know the day at he beach is over but they don’t want to go home yet.   Can’t this last forever?  More people getting choked up and several sniffles in the group but it had to end.

The organizers did an awesome job.  I don’t think too many people could have made this happen.  Now, I’m choked up….

5:30pm

Back on i5 for the long drive home.  Left my Wallet in El Segundo playing in the background.  I wonder what time the best taco place in the world closes on Sundays?  7pm?   8pm?  Let me speed up a little.

Mmmmmmmm…tacos!