Just Like the Big Kids

This ad for yoga insurance always made me giggle.  As a teacher, I can ask about injuries at the beginning of class.  I can use euphemisms like tweaks or strains.  But, the bottom line is that people either tell me what’s going on or they don’t.

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Some students are just shy and don’t want the whole room to know or don’t want the teacher to know.  They don’t even want to know about it themselves.

Other students think it’s none of my business because I’m just a yoga teacher.

And, a few have no idea about what’s going on with their own bodies.  “How long have you had scoliosis?” “I have scoliosis!  What’s that?”

For years, I stopped asking.   It seemed pointless.  The first Downward Dog tells me almost everything I need to immediately know about a student’s physical and mental practice.  I can see issues with hamstrings, shoulders, spacial awareness, ego, wrists, core strength, confidence, knees…etc, etc, etc.

Because yoga is a business and studios require it, I started asking about injuries again.  It’s a liability-thing.

The hardest thing to work with is that fine line between curiosity and ego.  I know it well.

When I was a kid at Spring Valley Elementary School, the playground was a real playground.  We climbed sturdy wooden structures, and heavy metal bars and rings.  We flung ourselves in the air on swings with nothing but asphalt or, sometimes, a thin rubber pad below.  Recess was serious, almost Darwinian.

I’d watch the big kids hang upside down from the rings high above our heads and whirl around the metal bars with awe and, admittedly, a little jealousy.  I wanted to do that!

One day, the bar was free.  I ran over, and wrapped my sweater around the bar, like the Big Girls, for padding.  It took a few (maybe more than a few) attempts to get up on the bar--I chose the highest one.  I sat there for a moment trying to figure out if I hold overhand or underhand to spin around.  I tried underhand.

And, landed right on my face.

It hurt but I thought I was ok.  I didn’t know how much blood there was until the teachers panicked.  I put my hand up to my face.  My nose was too sensitive to touch and my grown-up teeth wiggled in place.   My grown-up teeth!!!

After visiting the doctor and dentist, and getting the ok to play.  I went back to bars and asked the Big Girls for help.  Some of them laughed at me.  But, a few helped me out.  Within weeks, I was whirling around the bar with one leg over, with both legs over, with no legs over–just like the big kids!

My curiosity got me to the bar.  But, my ego slammed my face into the thin rubber mat.  Once I found that fine line in between curiosity and ego, I asked for help.  And, I got where I needed to be.

The playground has changed since I was at Spring Valley but that set of bars is still there.  Whenever I walk by, I can’t help but smile and bite my lip with the tooth that I almost lost for good.

Ashtanga Yoga Confluence…take 2!

It was another long drive down to Sunny-D (aka San Diego) for the Ashtanga Yoga Confluence.  I thought it was going well.  I took my time down and even planned on stopping by Bryan Kest’s studio for a little flow before the Confluence.  Then, I found myself on the 405 yelling at a CHP who was creating a traffic break.

“You SOB!  You’re gonna make me late for yoga!”  Is that a good start to this weekend?

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Well, I never made it above the Radio Shack that day…but I did end up getting tacos in Boyle Heights…mmmmTacos!

I got lost on the way down.  That happens when I don’t print out directions.  I have no idea how I ended up on the UCSD campus but the view from my room the next morning made up for the crazy drive.  Left My Wallet in El Segundo…still playing in my head.

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Overall, the vibe was a little more calm.  There was a kinetic energy last year.  It was the first.  There was so much anticipation.  This year, things were a little quiet.  Sometimes relaxed, sometimes eerie.  There’s a lot going on with the politics of Ashtanga right now.  I don’t know what will happen to the community but I know that the yoga will survive.  As usual.

Seeing David and Shelly, Tim, and Nancy in one place is awesome.  Getting to know the history of Ashtanga (albeit short), and how each person teaches the same tradition a little differently, but with no less purity, is fascinating.  I took a led class with Dena Kingsberg.  I didn’t know her at all, so i figured I should try it out.  Eddie Stern totally redeemed himself with me.  Or maybe, I was more receptive.  Last year, I walked away thinking he was an asshole.  Seriously.  This year, he still held that energetic space, the way that New Yorkers do, but there was a serene base that wasn’t there before.

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The crowds, the chaos, the familiar faces, the new friends…always very cool.

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Next year, the Confluence moves to New York….field trip!

The Resolution Will Not Be Televised

I’m told I’m an extraordinarily quiet person.  I’ve always been that way.  Even as teen, I wore headphones to listen to loud music.  I still do.  I think it’s one of the benefits of being a city kid.  In a compact city, for good or ill, your actions effect, or even affect, others immediately.  And, vice versa.

Sometimes, I was so quiet that grown ups would forget I was there.  Awesome.  It was like getting a sneak peak at adult life.  I remember my Mom and her friends sitting around the stereo listening to Gil Scott Heron’s song, The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.  It seemed important.  Words like “deep” were used a lot.

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Years later, I had a chance to see an interview with the late Mr Heron explaining the meaning behind the title.

“That was about the fact that the first change that takes place is in your mind, before you change the way you live and the way you move”

Doesn’t that just say it all?  I wish more music today had such a positive meaning or thought provoking lyrics.  I’m bringing sexy back….BLAH!

This time of year, I see more joggers in the Panhandle, more people in the weight rooms, more students on the mat.  By the end of winter, it’s less crowded.  Then a resurgence in the Spring, as people get ready for “bikini season”.

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I’ve never made New Year’s resolutions.  January 1 is an arbitrary date.  I can easily change something about myself or start something new on April 3 or August 12.  But, if flipping that calendar page gets you up an moving, remember that there’s another opportunity on Feb 1, March 1, etc to flip a page and keep it going.

You already know that “first change that takes place is in your mind”.  And, that’s the toughest change of all.

The revolution will not make you look five pounds
thinner, because the revolution will not be televised, Brother.

Bah! Humbug!

It’s not my imagination.  Christmas comes earlier every year.  I saw Santa trinkets in stores before Halloween!

Sacrilege!

But…isn’t almost everything we do this time of year sacrilegious?  Hanukkah gifts?  THAT wasn’t a tradition when I was a kid!

What I miss most is that elusive Holiday Magic that seems to only exist in advertising.  As a kid, I got it, every year, in downtown San Francisco at Emporium Capwell and, later, FAO Schwarz.

FAO was located where Barney’s is today.  The set up was similar, same escalator.  Imagine walking in and instantly seeing three stories of toys.  Lots of kids were apoplectic at the front door coming in and totally overloaded going out.

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Emporium Capwell was a big department store on Market Street.  Now, it’s the Westfield Mall.  Only the original dome is still there.

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Every Christmas, the roof became a Holiday Carnival.  It was amazing!  I couldn’t stop talking all the way there.

Will there be rides again…Will I see Santa…Are the reindeer gonna be there…Is it gonna snow…Will there be a princess…I don’t like elves

The moment we’d walk in, my mouth would shut and my eyes would open wide.

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I remember the energy more than anything.  Everyone was happy, and generous and smiling.  There were tons of kids I could insta-friend and really, really nice adults.

Things are a little different today.  You don’t have to be naive, or innocent, to have magic in your life.  But, it’s harder to find that natural magic lately.  You know, a feeling that isn’t manufactured by marketing professionals.

I think, more often than not, I find it in yoga.  It shows up in my practice and teaching.

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This picture kind of says it all.  Yes, that’s me and yes, my Mom made them retake the pictures-he wasn’t blinking.

Things don’t always go perfectly but if you can’t laugh at a ridiculous situation (like Santa falling asleep)…well, maybe you should do more yoga.

I (heart) SLC

I really do!

I’ve been lucky enough to go to Salt Lake City twice a year for the past 6 years.

I’m there during the winter (30F) and summer (95+F).

But, it’s a dry heat!

On this last trip, I stayed a little longer than usual.  I got to teach several yoga classes.  I sauntered through the aisles at a trade show instead speed walking, attended multiple seminars and ventured out!   I even took the train.

I think I like Salt Lake because it takes me out of my comfort zone.  Mormonism isn’t historically diverse.  Some of the more dogmatic beliefs can be seen as, well, backwards.  Especially to a San Franciscan.  Years before, SLC was a nothing more than a connection airport.  My experiences were similar to traveling through parts of the Middle East—I was treated as inferior because of my gender and skin colour, and even considered suspect as a woman traveling alone.

I thought Utah sucked.

We do this every day.  We embrace someone else’s opinion as our own.  We listen to gossip.  We treat others poorly or unfairly based on a history that should be acknowledged but left in the past.  How often do we judge an entire group or place based on a single experience?

The amount of baggage we all carry makes it impossible to move forward.

As my yoga life moves into a different stage, I’ve paid more attention certain things.  In my practice, I’ve been more honest with myself about where I have limits and where I have laziness.  In my teaching, I’ve started looking more closely at the students’ experience.  I’m still trying to figure out how to help students get real about their own limits and laziness.

A lot of people tune out in the middle of class—start picking at their toes, staring out the window, adjusting the outfit, staring at other people, going to the bathroom, getting water.  The list goes on and on….  These students are, typically, the most vocal after class.  As I mentioned in an older post, people love or hate me.  There’s no in between.  I used to be shocked by bad comments from students with no focus or humility on their mats.  Now, I almost expect it.

Lucky for me, the number of students who understand and appreciate what I do out-weigh the “toe pickers”.

And, I (heart) my students too!